Help Arriving Soon In Turk

Our shopping list read:

Groceries
Tomato Cages
Mouse Repellant
Miller Lite
Cat

The Humane Society was our last stop.

"Sorry," they said when they heard we wanted a dominant predator to reign over the stable. "Inside only."

We begged their pardon.

"We only give cats to homes that keep them inside," they said, and we felt we were being judged. We left with low self-esteem and no cat.

But we did have repellant.

Recommended by the Mower Man to prevent rodent damage to stored equipment, it smells like Pine-Sol to a power of ten. Literature in the box frightens us. It talks of deadly diseases and wiring gnawed bare. It shows us a house in flames and a loaf of bread with a mouse baked in it. We see a closeup of a rat's teeth and a screaming woman.

We bought two boxes.

Then we called around the mountainside offering cushy quarters among straw bales, all you can eat, and plenty of game to any healthy stray.

Our son called back.

Turk is a big no-nonsense female recently expelled from the house for incontinence. We'll let you know how it works out.

copyright 2010 J. O'Brien, all rights reserved